I'm officially 21

Its Friday, one of the day of barakah days, it’s the day of Jum’ah,: in one Hadith, the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: On Friday, Adam (عليه سلام) was created; on Friday, he was expelled from Paradise; on Friday, the trumpet for the day of resurrection will be blown; and on Friday, the people will resurrect.

...and today is my 21st birthday. I am now officially 21 years old. Alhamdulillah. A child? I must be dreaming! A teenager? Hello... wake up! And yet here I am waking up in the morning unaware that two decades had passed since I was born. Two decades may sounds a lil’ bit old but yeah, that’s the fact!

My friend kept saying, “Hey, you’re now 21, you know that?”

Huh, BIG DEAL!

Simply saying, for me this day is going to be just like the other days that have passed and will come. I will go to classes as usual, will have to get ready for lessons, going for lectures, all the same routine, and within seconds, its already tomorrow. Time passes so quickly that sometimes, you don’t even have the chance to say ‘salaam’ to anybody around you. (Yes, this is true) Subhanallah…

“Pictured myself for a moment in the arms of my father
Flashback to the bended shoulders
On which I'd sit
Grabbing his finger
Taking my first step
Would I become like him?
After a certain age bottle up
Stop showing love
But cold handshakes throughout the years
Replaced by hugs”

I vividly remember the time when I still need to hold my parents hand before crossing the streets, the time when I cried so badly that I want my dad to buy me the Rollerblade, the time when I played ‘dolls’, ‘doctor-patient’, ‘teacher-pupils’ and ‘dinner-tea’ with my childhood friends, the time when my beloved mum and dad sent me on my first day to school, the time when I was scolded for teasing my brothers and sisters and the time when I got sent to my room for getting bad marks in class. (Oh, I can be quite schmaltzy sometimes and I can go on for length! Typical me!)

But now…

Now, I don’t need to hold nobody’s hand to cross the streets (Oh, you have just to look on your left, then on your right, then on your left again or either way, it’s the same, as simple as that, you see!), I even forgot how I used to rely on my parents in everything I did, how I used to pour all my problems, share my secrets, and cry my tears on their shoulder (I’m a soft-hearted person, really!). If I ever need anything or if I want something so badly, I would just buy them with the money I have, I don’t have to ask them to buy things for me. I didn’t get scolded anymore nor being sent to my room for getting bad marks. I do everything on my own now except that I still seek their advice which I find the most soothing and comforting for me. Yeah, things do change and I really miss the old days though I know that time would never come back. Never!

They said when you’re 21 years old, you have crossed the borderline where you have to decide seriously what you’re going to do or what you’re going to be as your age increases. It’s the age where you have to seriously think and plan for your future lifeline. (Hurm…) But some said that when you reach that 21, you now have the key for freedom. (FREEDOM?!! You mean as in freedom to think or in freedom to do anything by your own will?) And 21 years old in my country, means you get the privilege for voting the ruling government during the Election Day which occurs once in four years. To wind it up, being a 21 years old denote that you’re supposed to be a mature, responsible, independent person. (Ah, there are a lot of people getting marriage by this time of age). No worries!

Whatever 21 years old mean for others, as for me, I have nothing to complain in my life. I have a family who love me and care for me forever; my beloved mom and dad and my dearest sister and brothers, whom I am ready to die for, plus I have the best of friends around me, the friends I can’t bear to lose from my life forever, and now, here I am studying medicine and struggling to become a good, reliable gynecologist one day, InsyaAllah. In short, I have yet a life to be grateful and thankful for, Alhamdulillah. All praise be to Him. Yes, considering all these facts, I have thus a lot of reasons to thanks the Almighty for all the ni’mah He gave me. But sometimes I simply forgot all these blessings He ever grant me just because of a tiny miserable problem that cross my path, Astaghfirullah, I am such a crap sometimes, I am!

“……For a moment I pictured my self 6 feet deep
In the cemetery, my corps in the same white sheets
Allah holds the master plan and it's already written
The pens are withdrawn, the pages are dry... it's written!”

(Yes I know, I know that He can take them all back whenever He wants in just one blink. Who knows? And to even think He can strap my life anytime He wishes or when I’m laughing heartily forgetting that He’s the one who create me. No, please! I’m not ready to face Him yet, honestly. Oh, I’m really forgetting the real purpose of my life on this decaying mother earth, badly enough I even forgot that I’m His servant sometimes! Oh, do please forgive me, I beg You).

“I created the jinn and humankind only that they might worship Me.”

(51:56)

“Looking back on my life
Life that's gladly been given to me
Open my eyes and embrace the smile
Given to you & I”

O’ ALLAH, please forgive me and my friends for all the sins, for all the wrong doings we’ve made. Please, O’ ALLAH let us stay in Your Deen Al-Islam, let us walk in Your path, let us be Your humble servant until the day You take us back. Ameen.

“If I worship U in fear of hell, burn me in it
And if I worship U in hope of paradise, exclude me from it
But if I worship U for Your own being
Don't withhold from me Your everlasting beauty”

I am thus now officially 21 years old. And if there’s ever be one wish, I would wish for the Ummah to be strong and united again and for His Deen, Islam to rise again, InsyaAllah!

Owh, and special thanks to my beloved parents and teachers who’ve moulded me to what I am today!

And so,

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! =)

Birthday Blessings

Instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings,
As your birthday nears.

Consider special people
Who love you, and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.

Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
"Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!"

By Joanna Fuchs

END.

P/S : The truth is, I’m going to lose my friend who will get married this summer hols. Allah knows how I would miss her being my friend, my roommate, my cooking mate and my classmate since we’re 13 years old. I’m supposed to be excited when she told me this news but inside I’m very sad because I would never have someone to share my problems and secrets anymore. I just never thought that she would get married this fast. I just never can absorb the idea that she is going to be somebody’s wife. So, each and every free time we have, I tried to spend as much time as I can with her because after this, of course she would be living with her husband. See, how times go on so fast and things changed??!!